Letting life be is a difficult thing.

It’s difficult to not try to orchestrate the next steps.

It’s difficult to not allow an entire tragedy to be written in your mind.

Over and over and over and over.

Letting life be is like when the physical therapist tells you to “relax”

While she’s twisting your arm in a way that’s not relaxing.

It goes against what feels natural.

It’s an every second challenge.

For me, there’s so much doubt that creeps in, telling me I didn’t do it right enough.

Telling me my cowardice has led me here.

And maybe it has.

But certainly that’s not the whole story.

There is always hope that I don’t see all the details.

That I don’t know all the sub-plots.

That I’m not actually the Author of this story.

And here is where I find hope.

As I remember I’m not the One with the pencil.

And He is continuing to smile over us and hold us safe in His hand.

xo,

Nicole