Sometimes just being with friends who are hurting is hard. You want to stay with them and comfort them, but the pain has a way of seeping quietly between people. For a woman who’s used to taking the lead, it can be challenging to be physically present with friends without giving advice. It’s hard when a fixer can’t fix it. We would rather lean into a solution because then we can call it a neat and tidy success.

When people hurt me, I want to turn away. Who doesn’t? Most of us don’t WANT to stay in a situation where we’ve been hurt. And when we bump into people who’ve hurt us before, we’re not exactly delighted to see them.

Goodness in the face of badness gets people's attention. It makes people stop and notice that your response wasn't measured in wrong, even though it would have been justified. I was a little wide-eyed when I first read Proverbs 25:21-22, where it says when we give good to our enemies, it's like we're pouring coals of fire on their heads.

If we've chosen to slide, we can also choose to put on the brakes. We can choose to turn, to adjust what we're doing, and change the direction we're going. Jesus knew that Peter would slide and He gently encouraged him.

It’s so easy to want to escape pain and problems. It’s normal for our spirit to feel pressed when trouble comes. Problems strain at destroying our trust in God. It’s normal. Even Jesus’ soul was troubled in the days leading up to the cross.

Arguments suck. As an enneagram 9, I avoid them at all cost, lol. But sometimes they just can’t be avoided. Does conflict mean our relationship is over? As a 9, sometimes it feels that way. 27 years ago, my husband and I agreed to not threaten divorce, and it’s worked for us so far.

Have you ever felt like Lazarus? Dead + buried for 4 days, when Jesus says, “Lazarus, come out!” Man, what a day! He literally brought Lazarus back to life. What would you think if you saw this happen? Maybe we have a hard time imagining this actually happening. But Jesus does the same thing for us, when we believe. He raises us from the dead, He resurrects our lives.

I’m sorry.

What do we do if people won’t say it?

Do we hold it against them?

Do we wait for someone to humble themself?

Or do we decide to make a change for ourselves?

A quiet, internal shift of choosing to forgive.

What do you see when you look at me

Hunched and broken under the tree

Holes in my shoes and stench in the air

No shower to wash my scraggly hair

I slept in the woods as you drove by

You glanced, but didn’t hear my cry

It’s strange living as a first gen in the Experiential Age. Our brain is fed a steady diet of images about relationships, body image, career, health, success, achievements, education, caretaking, knowledge, ambition, comparison, living circumstances, best life practices, and on and on.

There’s beauty in the way a child gives a hug, so full and free. You can feel their emotions because it doesn’t cross their mind to be stingy with love. They don’t realize it yet, but they’re busy refreshing people. Their whole spirit working in harmony with their Creator, just loving people. Unbeknownst to them, they’re God’s modern witnesses.

Who hears your voice, the words you speak?

They float on air, from here to there

A simple word can grow and grow

Becoming more, you’ll never know

We bring good news and sometimes scorn

Our words can take a drastic turn